Yesterday, I sat in coffeeshop after coffeeshop enjoying the melancholy weather--the fog of hot meets cold on the windows. Enjoying the cool dampness contrasted with the earthy hot americano I sipped from a black cup. I felt lonely. Obtuse. Needful. I longed for connection and companionship. I found it not--not within myself, not in the gaze of strangers and aquaintances. I know that I am loved yet I know too that I lack. The winter is long before me--seeping into my body like mud through the holes in my shoes.